I want to share something I learned about trust today. As humans, we have a desire to build trust with others both at home and at work. We spend a great deal of time and energy in workshops learning to trust others; we learn how to demonstrate that we listen to them effectively as one way to gain their trust and the skill set goes on from there.
There are also oodles of large legal practices focused completely on Trusts of one sort or another. We can choose to legally grant our trust to another person or entity to manage something of significant importance for us after we are no longer here on this earth. That’s a lot of trust!
What I’ve learned is the most important person that we can build trust with is ourselves. Yet sometimes instead of trusting ourselves we look to others to grant us permission to do what we believe to be the best way to handle a situation. We may even be in a role where we guide people everyday on how to handle situations and we teach them to trust themselves. Then out of the blue, we need to make a decision about what we want to say or do and instantly the doubting sets in. We become foggy on what to do, will it be “right”, what will others think about my decision, until we are paralyzed and don’t’ do anything. I don’t know about you but this is the worst feeling in the world for me. It feels awful.
Imagine what it would feel like to trust yourself enough to say what is on your mind in a respectful way. To trust that your words and your thoughts matter and they could be the catalyst of change in a way no one else has ever thought about before. The more you trust the more confidence you gain and the higher you will soar.
Over the years, I have continually exercised and strengthened my muscle of trust by being willing to create changes in my life and make decisions to move myself forward. Trusting doesn’t mean that all of those changes and decisions ended up to be the best of choices, however it does mean that I know I can always figure it out no matter what happens. The more I trust the less I get stuck and the more I am able to enjoy life as the adventure and journey as it is intended to be. Life isn’t about reaching a destination for me, cause once I’m there I already have a something new in my sights to zoom in on. Life is totally about the adventure and the ride!
One of the ways that I’ve built this muscle is by doing this:
When I get the urge to ask someone else permission to do or say something, I pause and ask myself, “What if I just trusted myself?” I encourage you to try it out and see what happens for you.
As a life-long learner, this is like doing an experiment for me, I repeat what works and feels good and I change what isn’t working and feels yucky. Each of us is incredibly strong and wise. The more we trust in ourselves the more we realize the power and resilience we have within us.
What will you trust yourself to do or say today?